Reading the following passage made me reminisce about my high school alma mater, which with its reputation and demanding curriculum, such stories are not unusual at all:

One graduate was Kim Soo-yeon, 19, who was accepted by Princeton this month. Daewon parents tend to be wealthy doctors, lawyers or university professors. Ms. Kim’s father is a top official in the Korean Olympic Committee.

Ms. Kim developed fierce study habits early, watching her mother scold her older sister for receiving any score less than 100 on tests. Even a 98 or a 99 brought a tongue-lashing.

“Most Korean mothers want their children to get 100 on all the tests in all the subjects,” Ms. Kim’s mother said. [The New York Times, emphasis mine]

I also had a batchmate who would freak out and weep when he got 99/100 in quizzes. He supposedly got beatings from his parents from such scores. It’s toll on the guy was obvious: he was socially inept. And by inept, I do not just mean that he’s a dork: by inept, I mean that, at 14 or 15 years old, he exhibited the emotional maturity of a 9 year old.

I’m not kidding, nor do I mean it in a degrading nor insulting way — he genuinely exhibited the emotional maturity of a 9 year old. While a lot of people was dealing with their adolescence hormones (although many, who are similar to him, are not), dealing with their relationships with the opposite sex, this guy was drooling (literally) in front of his Game Boy trying to finish The Legend of Zelda. He acted in this weird, comical way, as though he was always acting out a skit from some sort of cartoon. He wrote in the school paper, but his material never went beyond echoing the preachings of parents who made sure that their little boy behaved properly.

And all of that to satisfy the whims of parents who determined from day one that they will measure their child’s worth through the name of the school he went to, and through the numeric scribbles of some stranger on a thickened piece of paper.

While I agree that honing the talents of a gifted child is necessary so that talent does not go to waste, I believe that elevating perfection to some sort of sadistic standard and measuring a child’s worth through their adherence to that standard is pure and unadulterated child abuse. Indeed, many of us from that school, myself included, reached a point during our college years where we just burnt up, bombed out, and got disillusioned by the meaning of all the numbers ruling our lives, despite the absence of pressure from our parents at the time. It was simply expected of us because we came from that school.

It was tough being unable to distinguish one’s self worth from that stigma, the label of being a graduate of an elite school. Many people, upon learning that you’ve come from that school, immediately expect you to be some kind of superhuman or ubergenius; a person who is expected to be “successful” by excelling in all aspects of life, especially in academics and, years later, in a career. It’s as if failure is not an option.

I deeply appreciate my parents for not burdening me with the kinds of expectations some of my batch mates had to go through.

I am not discouraging people from sending their children to Philippine Science High School, or to any other science high school, or for aspiring for entry into Ivy League schools for that matter. Neither do I regret going to Pisay, because the challenges there certainly made me a stronger, more resilient, and more reflective person.

However, fourteen years’ worth of hindsight makes the repercussions of a high-pressure academic environment much, much clearer. Now that I am also a parent, at least the effort becomes more conscious: never ever make your child feel that they are only worth the grades they get. Being in an elite school is hard enough — lowering their self esteem will only make it worse.

They will thank you for it when you get older.

Using a thin nylon rope, 12-year-old Mariannet Amper hanged herself in the afternoon of November 2. She was a sixth grader at the Maa Central Elementary School.

…

Along with her diary, the Ampers also discovered a letter Mariannet wrote for the GMA 7 television program “Wish Ko Lang [I just Wish].”

“Gusto ko po sana magkaroon ng bagong sapatos at bag at hanapbuhay para sa nanay at tatay ko. Wala kasing hanapbuhay ang tatay at nagpa-extra extra lamang ang aking nanay sa paglalaba,” she said in her “Wish Ko Lang” letter. [I wish for new shoes, a bag and jobs for my mother and father. My dad does not have a job and my mom just gets laundry jobs.]

“Gusto ko na makatapos ako sa pag-aaral at gustong-gusto ko na makabili ng bagong bike,” she added. [I would like to finish my schooling and I would like very much to buy a new bike.] [Inquirer.net]

What is more unfortunate, however, is that a lot of sectors have taken the death as an opportunity to engage in a blame game, and preach the Gospel of Hopelessness once more.

On my way to work the other day, I took a cab that was tuned to an AM radio station (I failed to figure out which) who had two commentators (who I also failed to get the names of, my bad) who were reading text messages from listeners and making comments themselves. Almost everyone was blaming Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo for the child’s death, even insinuating that it is yet another evidence for her failure and yet another reason for her to step down. All the while, the commentators continue gloating in agreement, one of them even professing her desire to leave this “hopeless” country because it would be sheer “stupidity” to decide to stay.

In her blog entry about Mariannet’s suicide, Salve Duplito points out Archbishop Oscar Cruz’s comment that “we are all to blame” for Mariannet’s death. Her entry also points out the Senate probe on cash gifts, and an article that mulls over the current state of the middle class in the Philippines, as a “primer” of sorts regarding the nation’s poverty situation.

While I am shocked and aghast with what had happened, I am just as irritated with how people try to use the incident as yet another fault of the GMA administration, nay, the government. As preventable as the incident was, it makes no sense to blame anybody in the suicide. Mariannet was a minor, and one can argue that she does not know what she’s doing, sure, but I do think what she did was the result of misguided thinking.

In the end, it was her and her decision alone to take her own life.

What is more disturbing, I think, is this Gospel of Hopelessness being preached by the media to our people recently. I do not know if this “gospel” reached Mariannet, but I am pretty sure that Mariannet’s death is being treated as a holy sacrifice at its altar. This gospel, has four main edicts, which I will discuss here:

Buti pa sila

First is the phrase buti pa sila; they’re fortunate or they’re better off than us, as embodied by the phrase “the rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer”.

I understand deeply the difficulty and frustration the poor face when, with their meager, unchanging income, inflation eats more and more into their salaries while their salaries fail to catch up. What I do not understand is why “the rich are getting richer” is supposed to be a bad thing, when it is based on a very simple principle. When a person earns money, they could invest it in a business or a financial instrument that will earn money, reinvest it again in either to earn even more money, and it reaches a point that the growth of their money is not linear, but exponential. It is very, very clear that there is nothing evil about this, but people always tend to treat it as though it were black magic.

Of course there are “evil” ways of getting rich; illegal activities like drug peddling is one, another would be employee abuse and exploitation: long hours, delayed salaries, workload inappropriate to job descriptions or disproportionate to pay etc. But not every business does this, and I hope I am correct in assuming that majority of businesses do not employ such acts to be able to raise profits. However, to lump rich people who earned their wealth through hard work and perseverance with rich people who committed crimes and exploited others is simply myopic and utterly unfair.

The phrase “the rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer” clearly assumes that the rich get rich because they exploit the poor, and thus becomes the root, or foundation, for more negative beliefs about the rich, about being rich, and about how to attain those riches.

Hindi nila kami tinutulungan

Second is the widespread belief that the rich are purposefully doing nothing to leave the poor as poor. Hindi nila kami tinutulunga“; they are not helping us.

When there were reported gains in the country’s GDP, the reduced public deficit, and the strengthening peso versus the dollar, journalists couldn’t help but ask the question “are the economic gains trickling down to the masses?” This infuriated Gloria so much that she lashed back at the reporters, in a press release a few months back.

I do not approve of GMA’s temperament, sure, but neither do I see the question as a valid one. Trickling down to the masses, on the first month of an improved economy? Give me an electric fan in a large, humid warehouse, put it at one end and turn it on, and stay at the far end. Will the improvement in the ambient temperature of the warehouse be different there? Of course not. You have to go near the fan.

The “economic gains failing to trickle down to the masses” mantra has a better analogy, one that comes from Filipino folklore. It is the story of a boy who would sleep in a hammock under a guava tree, mouth wide open, waiting for the fruit to fall. The fruit fell alright, but he wouldn’t be able to catch it while sleeping, of course. We all know who Juan Tamad is, don’t we? And we all know why the guava won’t “trickle” into his mouth.

Too many people seem to think that by griping and complaining, some magical force will elevate them up that tree, in the way that they think rich people got their wealth through evil, magical means, but in reality many of them started at the bottom of the tree, and just started climbing.

If you want to get your share of those economic gains, you have to go and reach out to it. You still have to open doors when opportunity knocks. You still have to climb a tree to get its fruit.

Inaapi nila ako, kawawa naman ako

The roots of the Gospel of Hopelessness has the victim mentality, with this mantra in mind:

Inaapi nila ako, kawawa naman ako! I am being stepped on, I am being put down, woe and pity me!

As emo and drama this mantra sounds, I hear it all the time, even from seven year olds. Whenever we would attend mass in the Our Lady of Manaoag Shrine in Pangasinan, there would always be kids selling stampitas — cards that have the image of a saint or the Blessed Virgin on one side and a prayer on the other — constantly egging you to buy them.

There’s nothing wrong with their persistence in selling, of course. Their dialog, however, goes like “bilin niyo na po Sir, para may pangkain kami mamaya” (“please buy this so we may have something to eat later”). Between those lines you could almost hear them say “if we go starving later today, it’s your fault for not buying our wares”. What kind of sales tactic is that?

I could just imagine Mariannet saying the same thing about herself while she’s pondering to take her life.

Kasalanan nila ang lahat

Unfortunately this kind of thinking is widespread among the poor and those who think that they are poor, who say that every day, in the streets, on TV, on the way to work while you’re taking public transport, in the eateries where you take your lunch. Everyone is saying “I’m so poor, I’m so pitiful, but nobody’s helping me.” Worse, after all their rambling, they then turn to how bad the government is, how corrupt politicians are, and how much better their lives would be if only the government were different.

As if that would really change anything in their lives.

Archbishop Cruz’s elegy that “we are all to blame for Mariannet’s death” is no different. I don’t think we could keep anyone from killing themselves if they really really believed that their lives are worth for naught. Let’s just thank God it’s not anything like in supposedly prosperous Western countries where the suicidal take up arms and go on a shooting spree before they take their own lives.

In the end, however, the deaths, the suicides, the shootings, is the sole decision of the person. The students that took up arms to shoot other students were usually victims of rejection and bullying, sure, but there are a lot of other people who are bullied who do not kill other people over it. Mariannet may have had a depressing situation, sure, but how many people have been in her situation only to become successful and prosperous later in their lives?

How many people have decided that they are sick and tired of being poor, and they will do everything legal and righteous to become rich?

Too few, I think. Too few.

It is time to shed this depressing gospel, especially if we believe it

There are things that can be done to give hope and genuine help to the Mariannets around us; unfortunately too few people realize that that hope and help are not only the responsibility of the government. Yes it may be a responsibility we have towards others, but it is likewise, a responsibility we have towards ourselves. Unless we accept that responsibility, even if we have all the tools to get up and climb the tree of prosperity to pick and enjoy its fruits, we won’t get it until we start climbing.

However, for those who already know this responsibility, or who have prospered to the point where they have the ability to help others, they’ll need to remember where they came from, and educate those who are not aware of the ways to attain financial success.

Salve Duplito’s parting shot on her blog entry is spot on:

It makes sense for everyone’s financial future to wipe out poverty — even the ruling elite’s financial future. Even politicians’ financial future. As you prepare this day to make more money, save more and invest more, please do two things: look around you for someone like Mariannet and do something about it. Then continue to make your dreams for financial independence come true so you can help more like her. [Money Smarts]

It’s time for us to get up and help ourselves. It’s time to change our negative attitudes towards the rich and being rich. It’s time to shed the cultural beliefs that keep us poor. It’s time for us to stop complaining, and start doing. It’s time for us to rise up and help others find ways to help themselves, so that they will not feel Mariannet Amper’s desperation.

It is time for us to stop preaching the Gospel of Hopelessness, and perhaps, replace it with a Gospel of Prosperity.

OT: Do you want to hear the Gospel of Prosperity instead?

If you want to learn some ways on how to obtain economic prosperity without selling your souls to the devil, you might want to look at the Think Rich Pinoy Seminar, conducted by Larry Gamboa, which discusses about the psychology of money, and ways to earn money in real estate.

You can also come to the How to Become Truly Rich Seminar conducted by Bo Sanchez, a seminar for Christians (Catholics, especially) who want to shed their dangerous religious beliefs about money.

I have attended both seminars and learned an immense deal of knowledge and wisdom, which I am slowly trying to apply to my life.

Just for the record, neither have paid me to promote these seminars in this blog.

Susana Quiambao, a Grade 6 teacher of New Mabuhay Elementary School in General Santos City, had several students undress in front of their classmates on account of low marks in an exam.

What makes my blood boil in this case, is that Quiambao claims that the issue has been blown out of proportion by the children’s parents, and that the class agreed to the punishment and the children did the act in their own volition:

Quiambao admitted to reporters that a number of students who had done poorly in recent exams had undressed in front of the class — the boys removed their pants and the girls took off their blouses. But she claimed the students did so voluntarily.

“They did it on their own volition,” Quiambao said.

She said the issue had been blown out of proportion by the parents. She said the class had agreed on the punishment and that the punishment was even educational “because the students appeared like they were just doing a fashion show.” [INQ7]

I find that kind or reasoning really disgusting.

Even if the class agreed to do such an act voluntarily, the class would have consulted the proper authority on the matter, who in this case, is non-other than Quiambao. If she even had the slightest respect for herself and her students, she would not have allowed the agreement to be made in the first place.

Second, she claims that the issue is being blown out of proportion — perhaps on the premise that these are “just kids” and them undressing in front of their classmates is no big deal. It’s tantamount to saying that it’s okay to subject children to acts of sexual nature, because no malice is involved. That sounds like the reasoning of a pedophile.

Lastly, I’m disturbed by her stating that she deemed the act of punishment “educational.” What would children possibly learn out of this? That humiliating fellow human beings is a normal thing?

If that’s how she thinks, she should undress in public as a sign of apology.
It’s disturbing that such twisted minds are tasked to mold the minds of our children. I hope the parents of the children subjected to abuse would file charges of child abuse AND pedophilia against this woman who dares call herself a teacher.

I myself am skeptical of the idea at first, but many of my questions like, why not use refurbished desktop machines, and how the cost of production of these machines could be kept so low, are amply answered in their FAQ.

I was even surprised at their innovative solution to a dillemma most of us associate with third-world rural areas; that of the lack or absence of electricity. Their solution is to provide a hand-crank generator to the package; it’s a device used in many African nations to power transistor radios when batteries are not available (and they often aren’t).

I just don’t want to imagine how many times you’d have to crank the thing to fully charge it.

One of the reasons why they believe they can do it, however, is an eye-opener. As a person who’s supposed to be a techie, I’m a bit surprised that I failed to realize it myself:

Today’s laptops have become obese. Two-thirds of their software is used to manage the other third, which mostly does the same functions nine different ways.

So there IS a way to cheapen mainstream laptops, and that is by removing all the excess proprietary software. And to think that I’ve been itching to get myself one but has had to refrain for the longest time due to budget considerations.

Their target release is either late 2006 or early 2007. Wish them (and the poor children of our world) luck.