Ang Kape Ni LaTtEX

I’ve just put CJ down into her crib.

She normally takes a nap after her bath. Usually it’s her yaya who lulls her to sleep, but she saw me just after she got dressed and with her outstretched arms gestured that I carry her. I picked her up. Right after I did she put her head on my shoulder, simultaneously a sign of her lambing and antok. I took the bottle of milk her yaya prepared, set her down on my lap, let her have the bottle of milk, then swayed my legs so that she’ll have a makeshift rocking cradle. She fought her sleepiness a little bit, but eventually gave in and closed her eyes into peaceful slumber.

It really feels good to have a child fall asleep on one’s self. It’s the most tangible manifestation of the term “peace-of-mind”. I never imagined that I would be feeling this as early as my quarter-life though. It feels good nonetheless.

I could say that CJ is at a crossroads, however. She’s starting to exhibit separation anxiety. In the middle of the night she’ll cry if for some reason she doesn’t immediately feel her mother lying beside her. She cries whenever either of us leaves for the office. She has difficulty sleeping when her mother or I (but especially her mother) are out late. We’ll have to wean her soon, and make her get used to us being absent at times that she expects us to be there.

She’s also nearing her first birthday. A few weeks back we have again braved the traffic, both from vehicles and from people, to shop in Divisoria and pick up party stuff. Hello Kitty’s gonna be the mottif of her party, and it’s surprising what kinds of stuff you could get in Divisoria for three thousand pesos worth. If you’re adventurous in terms of shopping and travelling, Divisoria will never let you down. Later on I’ll be travelling once more, this time to Alabang, to give the magician we’re hiring the downpayment for his performance. Hope that that goes well.

Aside CJ’s upcoming birthday, I’ll have to deal with my own crossroads as well. I celebrated my own birthday last week; I just turned 25. At my quarterlife crossroads, I can’t help but remember an Inquirer Young Blood article I read a few years ago. It’s about a guy telling about his quarterlife goals; having a car, getting a good job, but instead he still finds himself riding a bus to work to do a job he doesn’t really like and he doesn’t get much pay for. I can’t exactly remember my own “when-I-reach-25 dreams”, but even though I don’t have my own car, at least I’m in a profession that I could say I really enjoy. And then I have Melynn and CJ.

That’s more than enough for me.

Further down these crossroads, I’m applying for a job that might be able to send me to the US to work as a consultant as early as next month. The experience that I’ll get would be invaluable to say the least.

Hopefully all goes well with the crossroads CJ and I are going to go through this coming month. If you’re religious, I’ll appreciate it if you could pray that they do hire me, and CJ gets over her separation anxiety. If you’re not religious, wishing us luck will be good as well.