I think it’s time for GMA jokes… if you could laugh about it. I sure can. 
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Bunye’s favorite song:
I have 2 discs, the left and the right, 1 is orig and 1 is fake, hear them slowly 123, all you can hear is “HELLO GARCI”
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GMA to Garci: Hello Garci. Pasahan mo naman ako ng load, este, vote.
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Aba naman Gloria, puno ka na ng grasya. Kayamanan ng bayan nasa iyo na.
Bukod kang pinagpala sa iyong angkan. Wala nang natira sa AMEN.
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Q: Y cant GMA come out n say “m not d ma’am n d tape?
A: She doesn’t want 2 lie.
***
Babae: Lahat ng Arroyo magnanakaw!
Lalake: Ang sakit mo naman magsalita.
Babae: Bakit Arroyo ka ba?
Lalake: Di ah! Magnanakaw ako!
***
Front cover ng Time Magazine… GMA: “THE LORD PUT ME HERE”. Ang tanong:
Sinong Lord:
A. Jueteng Lord
B. Smuggling Lord
C. Drug Lord
D. All of the above
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Iggy will prove he is GMA in the tape. He is now practicing how to imitate GMA’s voice. Abangan… THE FEMALE VERSION OF JOSE PIDAL.
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Sbn nLa swerte at maayos daw ang buhay pag my dwendE sa bahay…
e bkit sa malakanyang may dwende nktira pro hirap p rn ang pilipinas?
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Q: What special feature is added in the cellphones of Mike, Mikey and Iggy Arroyo?
A. Call jueteng.
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Q: What is GMA’s secret business in the last elections?
A: Pasa-vote
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Newest movies in town:LORDS OF THE RINGS
Mike Arroyo: Smuggling RING
MikeyArroyo: Jueteng RING
Iggy Jose Pidal Arroyo: Money LaundeRING
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Warning: Gen. Garcia, Winston Garcia, Comm. Garcillano, first Gentlemen myt led Gloria to another G: her grave!
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Diyosa na reynang pandak na may nunal na nanganganak ng sumpa sa bayang binabalakubak. Nanalong magnanakaw, lunod sa balisawsawng asawang bakulaw.
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GMA: Y shud I resign? D naman yung SEX TAPE namin ni Nani ang n expose! … Ooops! Sori i didnt authorize myself 2 say sex tape. It was Bunye’s idea.
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Panoorin niyo sa Channel 9!!! May mga tangkeng galing kay GMA papasok na sa San Carlos seminary!!! Naubusan na yata sina Father ng Shellane!!!
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Bunye: I resign.
GMA: Wag muna… it will destabilize. Stay 4 a wyl and I will fire u after 3months.
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Chinese uncle negosyante catches nephew stealing money from cash register. He slaps him and shouts: Walanghiya! Macapagal mukha mo!
Nephew cries: Arroy o!
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Q: Bakit tahimik pa rin si GMA kahit napakainit ng isyu sa kanya?
A: Baka daw siya mabosesan.
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Garci: Hindi ako nagtatago noh! Nakikipag-phonepal ako kay Saddam!
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Ang mga nangyayari sa ating bansa parang teleserye:
Yung jueteng scandal ang title “Mga anak ng jueteng.”
Yun namang Gloriagate scandal “Tap si Glo!”
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BUNYE: I have the authentic tape! T! heir’s is the doctored sister!
PAGUIA: My tape is the older sister of Bunye’s tape!
ONG: I have the mother of all tapes!
ERAP: Anak ng jueteng! All I have is the Querida with me, I mean the step-mother of the grand mother of all those mother tapes!!! But the Querida always knows more, ask Julie Yap!
ATE GLOW: You fools! I am the surrogate mother to all those tapes! Sorry, all those wiretapped materials are just phone rehearsals for my upcoming movie with Eddie Garci entitled “Lagot ka, lagot ka! The Movie!” And yes, we leaked the tape as a publicity stunt. Thanks for all the publicity.
***
GLORIA’S PRAYER
Gambling Lord’s
Who art in Jueteng
Hakot be thy name
Thy kickback come
Thy wealth be done in Malacanang
As it is in Pampanga!
Amin yan!
* * *
Aba, Ginang Gloria napupuno ka ng grasya. Ang kayamanan ng tao ay sumaiyo na. Bukod kang pinagpapala sa babaeng lahat at pinagpala naman a! ng iyong anak na si Mikey.
Santa-santitang Gloria, ina ni Lion King Ipanalangin mo na kay Bush ang iyong mga kasalanan Ngayon at baka mamaya ay magkaisa ang bayan at paalisin ka na.
Amen.
* * *
NAGBABAGANG BALITA: Nakatakdang aminin ni Iggy Arroyo na siya ang boses ng babae sa tape. Napabalitang bumalik na siya sa Pilipinas upang simulan ang pag-aaral sa boses ni GMA.
5 responses so far ↓
1 mitch // Jul 19, 2005 at 11:57 pm
sa wakas, natapos ko rin ang pagbabasa ng mga entries na namiss kong basahin.
it’s all worth it.
I therefore conclude that in view of today’s political conflict, Kuya Jon stands for the law. He wants impeachment and not for Gloria to resign.
I appreciate your points that I pondered upon.
I’m still undecided about the whole thing. Believe me, it’s much better than being indifferent. Something tells me kasi that if people don’t trust you anymore, there’s no reason to still be a leader. because no one will follow you anymore.
but then again, the “Manila is NOT the Philippines” got into me. I now believe that there are people who can still trust her.
I don’t know. I’m still thriving the gray line.
Erap Jokes, mas patok! hehe
2 Trosp // Jul 25, 2005 at 11:16 pm
Jon
I found the jokes oks that I circulated them to my friends (email). Bago pa kasi.
They just questioned bakit yung iba, ginawa in a form of Roman Catholic universal prayer…
3 Jon Limjap // Jul 26, 2005 at 9:04 am
Because part of the joke is the highly politicizied Filipino Roman Catholic community. It might insult the faithful, but to others the Catholic church’s attitude towards politics is an insult in itself.
I guess quits lang.
4 Anonymous // Aug 28, 2005 at 2:39 am
kawawa naman ang mga Pilipino….. kaya di mo na masisi ang mga gumagawa ng kapalpakan to survive.
5 Jon Limjap // Aug 28, 2005 at 6:06 pm
Kawawa ang mga Pilipino? Hell f*ing no! NEVER ko silang iintindihin in that light.
In fact, I think many Filipinos use the “kawawa naman ako” edict to excuse themselves from self-improvement and as a reason to break laws, whether petty or bigtime.
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